Epilogue: zzzzenith.com - 2000AD Prog 2001
London: November, 2000: A naked Britney Spears crawls across the room to the phone. She calls the police
and reports that she has been assaulted... by a superhuman.
Zenith, now a dot-com millionaire, is flying over London being filmed by a ‘Mosquito Cam’ for a hyperdocumentary:
“Channel 4 on Tuesdays at 10.00 for the next six weeks. 24 hours a day on the website.” He lands, tossing some change to
some homeless people (who look remarkably like Liam and Noel Gallagher), while he brings us up to date. “The
80s? Mad Nazis, evil gods and Kajagoogoo, end of story.” He goes on to say that Acid Archie went crazy and turned
into a brutal self-appointed cop and that his manager had died in 1995 of bowel cancer, although Eddie denies this
and tells Zenith to stop talking rubbish - he’s got an appointment with the Prime Minister to go to, and a visit to
a childrens’ ward afterwards.
At Number 10 Peter St John admits to Zenith that Tony Blair is actually mentally retarded repeat
offender he’d found in a psychiatric institution, and that he’d been puppeteering him since to make the public think that
the government was moving forwards. Peter is clearly planning on nothing less than world domination, he’s just going
about it in a far more gentlemanly and British way about it then Horus and The Plan intended. Peter explains his
current problem to Zenith. Inside the Millennium Dome on the previous New Year’s Eve, a laser was fired into the
Chimera pyramid. Instead of the specacular light show they were expecting, the pyramid split into several different
universes. St John is afraid they will try to destroy each other and take his own universe down with them.
Zenith tells him that he’s not stupid enough to get into fights anymore, and suggests that instead of competing
against each other, they should just form a band instead.
He’s telling Eddie about this on the way to the childrens’ ward. When he arrives he is attacked by a Britney
obsessed policeman with a bazooka, out for revenge for what he did to his innocent heroine. The exposion, while killing
some of the children and nurses nearby, doesn’t harm Zenith - although his clothes are blown clean off his body.
Zenith shouts at the constable: “I’ve never even met her, and as far as I know, she’s far from innocent!”
Acid Archie, wearing a hat, coat and false beard, is spotted leaving Britney’s home.
“Later that day the Singing Universes go straight to Number One and stay there for the rest of our lives.”
Seizing the Fire